Healthy Relationship --- Common Traits

 

Healthy Relationship

We are social beings; from the moment we are born, we need to create bonds with our parents and family, creating friendship to develop relationships later. Even being a priority need for Being human, relationships are not always simple or easy to maintain. Relationships understood as entities other than the people who comprise it must be cared for and fed as if it were a living organism. Unfortunately, there is no "magic formula" or recipe that we can apply to ensure success in our relationships.

Wilfulness

Being part of a couple is voluntary; it is a personal decision that we make at a given time in our lives, we decided to join a person the ideal partner. Having this idea in mind helps us take care of the relationship and take care of the other. This concept also includes the things we do for the other from freedom. If we do something for our partner, it must be voluntary.

Respect for Individuality

Before being a couple, we are people with our tastes, beliefs, values, needs, and who will always be able to match those of the person next to us. This can be a source of conflict if we put ourselves in the attitude in which one wins, and the other loses, an approach in which we do not respect the other.

We must accept and understand the differences, not as something negative that separates us, but as something that helps us to know the person with whom we share our life. It does not mean that we have to agree on everything; if something makes us feel upset or bad, we have the right to tell the partner.

Compromise

This pillar is derived from the previous one; when I accept the other and respect him, then I deal in aspects that although for me they may be wrong, for the other they are essential. It is necessary to accept (again) that the other is different from me and that he must have his space of freedom to be himself. The compromise involves giving a real perspective to the aspects that separate us. Many times we're answering the following question. Does this have such importance on entering into a conflict, or am I able to tolerate this without involving a stumbling block in the relationship? We realize that we can tolerate and compromise. Together with the compromise, we must also develop indulgence.

Share

Let's not confuse time-sharing with space sharing. Many times couples are in the same space but are not sharing anything beyond. It is true that in our current life we ​​have many obligations and we hardly have time to be with each other. We work, and when we get home, domestic responsibilities begin, and when we share time, it is always another activity, whether it's dinner, watching TV, etc. Sharing as a couple has to go further; it has a much more global dimension. The sharing of experiences, feelings both as a couple and personal, sharing values, concerns, and fears. In short, being with each other, being the only thing that matters at that moment, this is what gives quality to the timeshare.

Communication

Here is the workhorse of many couples, the lack of communication. Communicating is not just talking or giving information. It is a much broader process that involves emotions and personal willingness to want to understand the other. Communication starts with the speaker and the listener. For there to be an excellent communication, the speaker must be able to deliver a compelling message and express it clearly and on the part of the listener it is necessary to practice active listening, this is the ability to find answers to the following questions: what is the message my partner wants to convey to me? What do you feel? Why does it feel like it feels? That is, having the ability to go beyond spoken language, is to understand the emotions and thoughts. In short, put our empathy to work, and for this, as we said before, that disposition is necessary to want to understand the other not only in what he says but in what he feels.

Reinforcement

We understand reinforcement as the perks we give to others. When we start with our partners, the gratifications we offer them are many and varied, from a compliment, poems or love letters. Unfortunately, over the years, we are losing this good habit. With this, I do not say that we have to "sing a serenade" every day to our partner, but continuing to reinforce the other is very important.

The most prominent reinforcements for adults are that they pay attention to us and give us our recognition. Therefore, a "thank you for getting close to work," "the food is delicious," show that we recognize each other's efforts and that we appreciate it.